You Me Rooftop
by The Last of the Loric
Summary: Guilt has been eating at Farkle since he told Riley's secret. He has to get it off his chest. A secret he was been hiding from himself is uncovered after a certain brunette girl knocks some sense into him. Riarkle Farkle and Riley farklexriley
1. Chapter 1

**Friday, January 1st**

Farkle spent the entire walk home thinking about what he had done. Guilt is a funny thing. You never feel it when you're doing the thing that is wrong. You sometimes don't even feel it til hours, days, months later, but his guilt came quick. And not only did he realize, but so did Isadora.

He held her hand tight as he walked her home. Sometimes he would even try to swing their hands back and forth to relieve tension, but everytime her hand went stiff. He was so entirely focused on Riley and this slow guilt eating him alive, he didn't even notice they had stopped walking.

Isadora looked up at him and triedo her best to smile. He was hoping to hear words of encouragement or of even happiness, but nothing of those sorts came out.

"I think tonight was a mistake." She says coldly, averting her eyes from his. He gasps sharply reaching for Isadora's hand.

"Smackle, I know, I shouldn't have told Riley's secret, I should've given her more time, I-." She interrupts right in the middle of his long explanation.

"Though what you did wasn't the best thing, I wasn't talking about that..." He searches her face, coming up with only one other reasoning.

"Smackle-." Again she interrupts.

"We shouldn't have thrown ourselves into this. Time after time we prove that like forces repel. I like you Farkle, I really do but maybe this isn't the right time for us. You seem distracted." She places a light hand on his cheek, meeting his eyes at the very end of her speech.

Deep down he knows he should be hurting from this, that something should be breaking, but nothing hurts. If anything he appears to be relieved. It's not that Farkle doesn't like Smackle, because it's quite evident that he always has, but a slow-burn yurns for someone else.

"I guess this is goodnight then?" He says pulling the corner of his mouth in.

"I guess it is." He leans down and kisses her cheek squeezing her hand on last time. She opens her door and right before she closes she turns to Farkle one last time.

"Next debate, I'm taking you down." She smiles. He reflects the same smile.

"I guess we'll have to find out next time. Goodnight Smackle!"

"Goodnight Farkle."

And like that, Farkle was left on her doorstep, alone and on New Year's. He wanted to feel worried for Smackle, that things had ended so suddenly, but his mind was phased by a pretty, brunette who probably was crying her eyes out. All because of him.

 **Monday, January 4th**

Farkle had spent the entire weekend thinking of the right thing to tell Riley. How he was sorry for blurting it out, how he couldn't believe he hurt her, how horrible he felt for being such a bad friend.

Nothing in Farkle's mind sounded perfect or smooth. He felt as if he wouldn't be able to express the guilt that was suffocating him. He knew that even if she tried, she probably would run before he finished. At least at school, there was no where to hide.

Farkle arrives early to get a few extra minutes before class to talk to Riley. He catches Riley's beautiful, dark hair from across the hall, but as he tries to rush over to her a hand grabs his elbow.

"Woah there, I wouldn't do that if I were you." Farkle rolls his eyes over to his dear friend Zay. Obviously Lucas had filled Zay in on the wonderful adventures of New Year's Eve.

"I was just getting to class. No wrong done here." Trying to shake this fear he feels inside. Zay just raises an eyebrow.

"I get it Farkle, you want to make sure Miss Sunshine is all rainbows and flowers, but the fact is you hurt her and maybe she just needs some time. She won't even speak to Maya. That's when you know it's bad." Farkle nods taking a deep breath before entering the classroom.

He takes his normal seat right behind Riley's. The bell hasn't rang, but the class is mostly filled up. It gives Farkle sometime to think. The voice in the back of his head keeps saying the same question it's been asking the entire time. "Why did you blurt Riley's secret?" He forces it to believe that he did it because he wants Riley to be happy, but he knows truly, to push Riley away from him so he wouldn't fall deeper in love.

A quick snap breaks him out of his phase. Mr. Matthews holds his attention.

"Earth to Farkle, class is beginning and you're still not listening." He looks around the room before looking back towards Mr. Matthews.

"What are we learning?"

"Belguim 1831." He'd like to say he was excited, but he had more important things on his mind. He looks toward Maya who gives him a sincere smile as if she were saying 'I'm not mad, but why?' He doesn't even have to look towards Lucas to know he's angry. If looks could kill, Farkle would already be 6 feet under.

He shakes the fear Lucas is giving him and focuses on the back of Riley's head. Maya has been trying all class period to get her attention but nothing seems to work. He's been watching Riley's breathing and he knows she's having a hard time. Her patience with Maya is coming to close and all of a sudden she raises her hand.

"May I be excused?" She says in a whisper barely keeping herself together. Her father nods and she's already out the door. Farkle chases after her, or at least he would have had two arms not grabbed him.

"Farkle please sit down!" Mr. Matthews demands giving Farkle a very stern look.

"But-,"

"Down!" Pointing to his seat. Farkle looks towards Maya to see her totally shocked. Mr. Matthews clears his throat and continues. He can't honestly think any of them are actually listening? To his surprise, he sees Lucas's hand raise in the air. 'Thank god' Farkle thinks to himself, 'someone is going after Riley.'

"But why did the war begin?" Lucas asks totally unphased by the absence of Riley. Farkle can see Maya ticking and he knows he's next to blow.

"What is going on?!" Farkle shouts, standing up in the process.

"Everyone but Maya and I are acting like nothing is wrong. Your her father for Heaven's sake! Do something!"

"Farkle, please sit in your desk quietly." Mr. Matthew's demands with a certain hidden anger in his voice.

"You've got to be kidding? I'm not gonna be quiet until I know Riley is okay! Okay?" Farkle can see Lucas clenching his fists, but Maya restrains him enough to cause no further action.

"Farkle, please stay after class, and I don't want another word unless you want to spend the rest of the day in the principals office." He takes in a deep breath and sits down. The room is silent until Zay decides to join.

"You're getting quite mad over a girl who wasn't by you at midnight. NYC is so much cooler than Texas." The entire class turns around to look at him. Like Zay's playful self, he raises his arms and says, "just an observation." The bell rings a second later.

All the students filter out until it's just Farkle and Mr. Matthews. He sits on top of Riley's desk giving him the very "father" look.

"Farkle, Riley is just having a hard time right now. She made it very clear to Topanga and I that she did not want to see anyone, especially you." He says it all sincerely, as Farkle nods slightly, letting the guilt eat him alive.

"But she needs someone to bring her back. If you along with all her other friends don't make an effort to see her and make her feel better, she may never leave her room. Getting her to school this morning was hard enough and after all this, she has no desire to return."

"But what could I possibly do to make her forgive me? She probably won't even speak to me." He says bluntly.

"She's different with you, Farkle. I don't know what it is, but she listens when you speak, she looks to you for advice and most of all she trusts you with anything."

"Probably not since I spilled her secret. Riley..." Saying her name even hurts. This girl he has loved since the 1st grade is in pain and all because of him.

"Just do something. Please..." Mr. Matthew says standing up and squeezing his shoulder. "Her world is in a spin, get it back on track."

 **Thursday, January 7th**

Farkle is standing in front of the Matthews door like he has everyday this week. The other days, he went head first without a plan. Each day Cory opens up and turns him away. Luckily this time, Farkle came prepared or at least with a step one to a hundred step process. He's about to knock when he hears a voice from the other side.

"Dad, you have to tell Maya and Lucas I don't want them coming back. They are the last people I want to talk to, well besides.. Besides _him." Ouch._

He decides to knock right after she is finished. At least he knows she's out of her room. He hears a high squeal and shuffling before the door opens. Again he's greeted by Mr. Matthews.

"You know the drill." He tries to smile but it all fails.

"I figured, so I brought this. See ya tomorrow Sir." Farkle's halfway down the hall when he hears a thank you. At least he tried to get through to Riley. It's all a risk, but it's better than nothing.

•••

Riley is sitting at the bay window when her dad comes in. He gives her the same nod he's been giving since Monday.

"Today was new, you got something... From Farkle." Her heart stammers hearing his name. She can feel her face turning red, and to this day she still can't tell if it is from hatred or something she's been hiding.

"And..." Rolling her fingers in her hand, distracting herself from what's to come.

"I told him what you had asked." She meets her father's gaze. Farkle didn't put up a fight? He didn't try to will his way in?

"Oh!" A raised eyebrow shots her way as she breaks the stare and brings her attention back to her hand. Her father walks over. She figures it's another hug or talk, but he lays an envelope on her lap labeled "Riley" in Farkle's handwriting. She intakes sharply before looking up to her father.

"I know I can't force you to do anything but please read it." He says before leaving her room. She picks up the envelope and contemplates . Do I open it? Do I throw it away? My head says no, but my heart says yes.

Something changed between Farkle and her. It wasn't a sudden change. Each day felt the same, but she looks back now and everything is different. The only thing that hasn't changed is his loyalty to her. And that's enough for her to open the letter

 _Riley_

 _You. Me. Rooftop 6:00 Friday_

 _Farkle_

And that was it. No explanation, no reason. Just to meet him on the rooftop at 6 on Friday. Could she even face him then? She wanted to be mad at Farkle, she really did, she just couldn't. She crawled in bed staring at the ceiling thinking of all the things she wish she had the courage to say to Farkle. Friday was gonna be messy, but at least she would get clarity.


	2. Chapter 2

**Friday January 8th**

 **8:30**

Farkle was sitting in his desk. The past week Riley still hasn't shown. It's weird for him not to have her there. He couldn't tell where his eyes were suppose to go or what to look at. Usually his eyes trailed to Maya, who had made an effort to talk to Farkle this week. She understands why he did it, but she was confused on why then and why there. Honestly Farkle didn't know either, or at least he let himself believe that.

Yesterday they had taken a test. Normally Farkle wouldn't even look at his grade because he knew it was an A. This time Farkle felt a chill go up his spine. He didn't study or even review the information. He had been so upset and worried to even feel the need to review. Mr. Matthews was passing back the test. He stopped at Farkle's desk and handed Farkle the test flipped over.

He slowly turned it over and saw a D+ circled at the top. He wanted to be mad, he wanted to bothered by the bad grade, but the only thing that bothered him was the empty desk in front of him.

 **5:57**

Farkle had gotten to the rooftop early. He'd been sitting there for at least 30 minutes trying to figure out what to say. He knew he had to apologize, but would he be able to give Riley the explanation? She could tell when he was lying so the excuse that he wanted her happy could throw up red flags. Could he really tell her it's because he was afraid that he'd fall even more for her if she wasn't with someone. If she were with someone it wouldn't give him the false hope that maybe just maybe that she liked him. That with someone, he'd be able to keep himself from flirting or staring. The more he thought about her being with someone, the angrier he got. The more he longed to be with Riley.

As he stood up, the door clicked open and he intook quickly knowing there was no turning back now.

 **6:00**

Riley had spent the last ten minutes staring at the door handle. She didn't want to admit, but she was scared. She didn't want to see him, she didn't want to hear his apology. She wanted things to be normal again. She didn't want things to be like this. She finally gulped down enough fear to open the door.

She was at the steps of the rooftop when she saw Farkle. He was standing where she had sat on New Years Eve. She started to approach him, he followed suit rushing towards her.

"Riley, I-" She rose her hand signaling him to stay quiet.

"Farkle, I trusted you! I thought you cared about me! I thought you were my friend. Friends don't humiliate each other like that Farkle!" She shouted biting back tears. She promised herself she wouldn't cried. She told herself he wasn't worth crying over, but in that moment all she wanted was to curl in a ball and sob on his shoulder.

"I do care about you Riley, don't ever say I don't." He says shaking, finally letting the cold get to him.

"I just didn't realize how much pain it would cause telling your secret. I thought things would get better. Having you feel like this was never my intentions."

"Then what were your intentions Farkle Minkus, because obviously you were very off!" She shouts shoving him back slightly. His hands automatically grab her wrists and he reels her in. Close enough that she can count the colors in Farkle's eyes. She quirms unable to control the burning sensation that trails through her body. Her heart is pounding and she only hopes Farkle can't tell.

"I... I don't know, I didn't want you to lie to our friends and most of all yourself. I wanted you to be happy!" He says searching her eyes, still not loosening his grip.

"Do I look happy?! You're lying and you know I know." She shouts without unlocking her eyes from Farkle's.

"You keep saying that we don't lie each other, that I shouldn't hide my feelings, that I shouldn't put others feelings in front of mine, but lately that all you've been doing." She ends sharply trying to pull out of Farkle's warming grasp.

Surprise flashes across his face as if she'd slapped him. He lets go of her quickly after realize what he was implying.

"I have loved since the 1st grade and you've known that all this time. I haven't lied about any feelings. This isn't even about me." He ends the statement sharply.

"Of course it's about you. You told me not to hide my feelings, to stop putting everyone's happiness in front of mine, but I've finally realized I've been listening to a hypocrite my entire life!" She shout turning around swiftly. Farkle's hand catches her elbow and reels her back in. He pulls her close enough she can count the light freckles on his face.

"That's not fair and you know it." He says emotionless. She's up to 14 freckles by then trying to bite back all the things she's left unsaid. She knows she has to spill it all out or she'll become a grenade ready to explode. It's now or never

"You won't admit that your feelings for me are different then the ones you have for Maya. You've been hiding that secret this entire time." One second goes by. He's searching her eyes. She gulps and continues.

"That's why you told, because it's easier for you to break Maya's heart than mine! She's tougher than me and she'll get over Lucas quicker than I ever will. Right? But why push me towards Lucas, you've always been jealous of him. Why HIM? Why do you like the idea of Lucas and I?"

"Is that what you think? That I like the idea of you and Lucas? No, you... No. I hate the idea of you and Lucas. He makes you happy and that's what I want for you. If Charlie or Zay gave you the same happiness, I'd want you with them just as much as Lucas!"

She shakes her head biting her lip back.

"You're kidding right? How can you not see that you're a hypocrite. You're, very plainly, putting my happiness before yours!" She says flailing her arms.

"I've always put your feelings before mine. That was a given when I first fell in love with you."

"Just admit it Farkle, you hate Lucas and that he threw away his chance to be with me. You hate that you had to push me towards him because he's the one who could make me happy and that sickens you!"

"I never said I hated Lucas, but yes I hate that he was yours and he fell for another girl. He doesn't deserve you. He took you for granted! If he really had liked you, Riley, he wouldn't have fallen for Maya. And that's the cold hard truth." She chokes back a sob, never really thinking about it before. She tries to calm herself and she can barely even look at him.

"Excuse me?" She asks now drilling needles into his eyes.

"You're the one saying that you love Maya and I equally, but then again your hypocritical mindset just proved yourself wrong AGAIN!" He licks his lips looking down at his hands which keep clenching and unclenching.

"Look, I came here tonight to apologize, to say that I was wrong. That in fact I, Farkle Minkus, made a mistake that has no correction." His eyes flick straight to hers.

"I boomed a test and got dumped by Smackle and lost all my friends within the same week. I'm _trying!"_ His __eyes are pleading for forgiveness. He's so close, she was scared he could feel her melting.

 _"_ Farkle," she say _s_ grabbing just above his wrist.

"Are you okay? About Smackle?" She knows she should still be mad and aggressive towards him, but she can't pull herself to carry the facade.

"I'm... Fine..." Barely meeting her eyes. He wanted to tell her how guilty he felt for not feeling anything after his break up, how unaffected he felt from it. That's when he realized how badly things were between him and Riley. He no longer could leisure talk to Riley about these things. A certain barrier has been built since New Year's.

"No... I'm not okay!" He says suddenly. Her eyes twinkle with jealously that Smackle had let Farkle through her fingers. Maybe this was the exact feeling Farkle was feelings towards Lucas.

"Physically I'm fine, and honestly I'm okay with Smackle and my breakup, but I'm not okay seeing the pain, not only I'm putting you through, but the pain I'm enduring as well. I didn't intend for things to be like this. I don't think I'm gonna be okay until you forgive me and mostly until I forgive myself." He hangs his head in shame. A light cloud of red stains his cheeks as he turns away from Riley. She reaches for his wrist.

"I just need more time, I'm just really tired of everything right now. I want to forgive I really do, but I just can't. Not now at least. I need time to think. You know?" His face scrunched up as if he'd eaten something sour.

"I get it." He steps out of her reach and she can tell by his face he's not happy with her answer.

"You need to talk to Maya and Lucas, they miss you. See you Monday." Everything he said went by so quickly and before she knew it, she was left alone on the rooftop feeling the same coldness she felt on New Years Eve.


	3. Chapter 3

**8:15**

Riley knew Farkle was right, she needed to make things right with Maya and Lucas. So she sneaked out of her room and went over to Maya's.

She knocked on the window twice before her blonde friend opened the window. Maya stood there speechless for the first five seconds before moving out of the way to let Riley crawl in. Riley was starting to stand straight when Maya threw herself on her. Maya was hugging her so tightly Riley could barely breath.

"Peaches, you're gonna kill me!" She says through a laugh.

"I'm so sorry Riley. I should've gone after you on New Years Eve and on Monday. I'm sorry I didn't know your feelings about Lucas. Please don't hate me." It was one of the first times Riley had seen Maya so upset. It broke her heart so see how many people this pain was affecting. Riley grabs Maya's hand and guides her to her bed. They both sit on the edge and Riley's moves her hand to Maya's knee.

"Maya, there is nothing you could apologize for, you couldn't have known." Maya's eyes are still filled with sorrow and guilt.

"Maya, if anything, I should be apologizing for pushing you away. You're my best friend, please forgive me." A small smile breaks on Maya's face as she pulls Riley into a hug.

"Of course I forgive you!" They pull apart. "What changed your mind to come and see me?" Riley's cheeks burn red and she quickly looks away from Maya.

"Farkle...?" Riley squeaks out replaying the night in her head. Maya's mouth drops.

"You talked to Farkle already? How did it go?" Maya puts her elbows on her knees making herself look like a child ready for an epic battle story.

"Well, we shouted at each other a bunch." Riley says shrugging.

"I figured, go on, about what?" Maya rolling her hands.

"Well about my feelings, his hypocritical views, and Lucas, oh and that him and Smackle are no more." Maya gasps.

"Him and Smackle broke up, is he okay?"

"That's what I asked!" Riley says.

"Okay, but really, I need details, word for word, okay and GO!" Riley squirms in her seat.

"All the stuff in the middle really doesn't matter," yeah that sounded good, Maya couldn't tell lie from truth, "but all in all I didn't forgive him." Had Maya had water in her mouth, it would have been the perfect time for the stray.

"What?!" Maya shreeks.

"You didn't forgive him, why?" Riley stares at the palm of her hand.

"I have to make sure you and Lucas forgive me first. I couldn't just forgive him if you and Luke were still hurting. I have to make sure you guys are okay."

"Oh Riley, we are okay if you are okay. Though I don't speak for Lucas, after New Years when you rushed out after we tried to talk to you, we stayed there to mostly solve all this. We aren't mad Riley, well not at you at least." She sighs but continues.

"I've forgiven Farkle too, I understand why he did it. I think maybe his feelings clouded his judgement." Riley looks straight up at Maya.

"What?" 

"When are you finally gonna realize that Farkle would die for you. The kid's a little crazy and yeah maybe what he did wasn't the greatest, but there is no doubt in mind he didn't have good intentions while doing it." Riley shakes her head up and down slowly.

"But if he really likes me that much, why would he even bother pushing me towards Lucas?" This everlonging question lags on.

"You know Riley, Farkle deals with a large amount of self-doubt. The littlest things can turn his decision. I mean, Mr. Perfect strolls into town and catches the attention of his two 'ladies' and you think that doesn't dent his bumper? He's going through a lot of stuff... And I know you are too." She ends with a sincere smile, laying her hand back on Riley's.

"When did you find out?" She asks her best friend, turning red from the humiliation.

"Hey, this is nothing to be embarrassed about. I didn't have to ask your parents or you to know that your struggling with depression. And I'm always here Riley. You don't have to turn away from me or feel like you can't talk to me about these things." Maya can see the tears dwelling in Riley's eyes.

"It just all hurts so much." Riley whispers leaning into Maya's shoulder. They sit like that for a handful of minutes before Riley leans away and wipes her cheeks with the back of her hands.

"Do you think Lucas knows?" Maya nods her head up and down, biting the inside of her cheek.

"Do you think Farkle knows?" She gives Riley the same reaction.

"That's why I think it's so hard for Lucas and Farkle right now. They don't want to see a girl they love in this much pain. And I think that's why Farkle did what he did. He wants to make sure his ray of sunshine doesn't have any rainy days."

"Maya, what if I'm giving him rainy days?"

"Then you calm the storm and forgive him because you and I both know he deserves it."

 **Saturday, January 9th**

Lucas met with Riley and Maya at Topanga's early in the morning. They talked everything out and all ended up in a group hug. Lucas admitted that he forgave Farkle and that he understood why it had to be done. If anything, Lucas was surprised about how insecure Farkle was around and about Lucas. It shocked him that his best friend had so much self-doubt and kept it mostly all bottled up.

Maya looked up to her mom, who had finished up early and wanted to take Maya out for lunch. Lucas and Riley lagged longer than expected in Topanga's.

"Riley, are you sure you're okay? With all of this?" She realized he must be talking about how she felt about him and his not completely sealed relationship with Maya. She nodded.

"Lucas, you were the first boy I ever really liked, and that meant something, but how many people end up with their first fling?" He agreed trying to figure out where this was leading.

"I'm sure I will always like you Lucas, who couldn't? But it's not how it used to be. I love you Lucas, not as a brother, or a lover, but a friend. And I want you to realize that I'm here for you just like any other friend would be." He gave her his beautiful, crooked smile and stood up.

"Miss Riley Matthews, I'm not leaving without a proper hug!" He, like Maya, were out to kill Riley with their hugs.

"It's good to have you back Riley. It's something I've really missed." And that's when Riley felt the change. It was no longer that messy, burning feeling being with Lucas, but that loving, comfortable warmth that all friends shared.

They pulled away, but Riley left her hands at his elbows.

"I'm okay with you and Maya as well. You bring out a certain light in Maya and I know you mean something to her. Please don't let her go. She takes awhile to trust someone, and I think she's finally ready to put that in you. Okay?" Maya walks in a second later with her Mom. Both of their faces are lightly brightened with laughter as they enter. Her mom kisses her on the forehead before returning to work.

"Did I miss anything?" Maya asks before sitting down.

"Nothing, but the start of a great friendship." Lucas says smiling at Riley. Riley was expecting to feel jealous vibes flowing off of Maya, but the only thing she felt was another group hug enacted by Maya.

•••

Farkle was a stress eater and he liked to eat cheesecake in particular. And even more particular, it was the Topanga's special recipe cheesecake.

He didn't want to be stressed out by Riley not forgiving him, but it put him on total edge. He didn't want to feel guilty anymore, he just wanted his Riley back.

He was coming down the stairs to Topanga's when he knew Riley was inside. He heard her say the 4 words he wished he would never hear.

"I love you Lucas." His head started spinning and he had to hold the railing to keep himself upright. He was too phased to hear anything else. He finally made it to the door when he saw Lucas and Riley hugging in plain daylight.

He back away from the site trying to understand what had just happened. Lucas Friar was ruining his life again. Farkle knew Lucas never intended anything he did. Mr. Perfect always seemed to get the glory, leaving Farkle in the dust.

He finally had thought something had changed between Riley and himself last night. That maybe she actually liked him, but this solved everything. She was just feeling sorry for him. She never actually cared.

Farkle was nothing, but something that was taken for granted.

•••

Farkle didn't know why, but when things were hard he would look out of his window and up into the sky. It gave him clarity that his problems were small compared to all the enormous stars and galaxies of this world.

He was tired of feeling so defeated all the time. He thought that maybe if Riley was with someone that all this pain would go away, but it was still here. It's that moment that Farkle realized that he maybe he would always be a background character in Riley's world. And that hurt.

He wanted to be more that just a friend to Riley, he wanted to her world. And he knew that Riley was right about everything yesterday. Had he been completely honest with Riley about his feelings maybe things could have been different. Had be put his happiness before hers, it could have been different. Life was right, nice guys never win. And with that he had two days until he had to face Riley and those days ate him alive.


	4. Chapter 4

**Monday January 11th**

The weekend was lonely. Farkle was only greeted by Guilt, as if he was an old friend. He was guilty for what he did to Riley on New Years and now he's guilty for all the things he said to her on the rooftop. Of course Lucas deserved Riley. She deserved to be loved by someone like him.

He'd always loved Riley, but this _love_ was different. He used to get a warm, comforting feeling whenever he saw Riley or Maya. Something that made him feel like he won the lottery, but now whenever he saw Riley, he felt a deep, burning feeling inside his chest. His veins felt like they were fire and that his skin was slowly kindling. He didn't know when these feelings changed. All he knew was that they had. And maybe Riley was right. When he sees Maya, he still only gets the warm, delightful feeling. When had they become so unequal?

•••

Farkle didn't want to go to school. He didn't want to see his friends because he knew they all were upset with him. Farkle didn't want to feel like he didn't belong.

When he arrived, he tried his best to stay out of everyone's way. Walking to the right on each hallway, keeping his eyes to the ground. He took his seat behind Riley and pulled out his phone. If he acted busy maybe people wouldn't bother him. Unfortunately he was all out of luck.

Riley had turned around. He tried not to meet her eyes. She was wearing a pretty peach shirt with a dark grey cardigan over it. His eyes trailed up her body. A strand of hair was falling from behind her ear and he wanted nothing more than to push it out of her face.

"Hey," she said with a sweet smile, "we need to talk. Topanga's after school?" She was so calm and composed it scared him a little bit. He nodded trying to keep himself from speaking.

It was obvious what she needed to say. That he forgave him and that she was happy with Lucas. The thought caused him to clench his hands.

•••

The whole school day went by so quickly. Riley was itching to tell Farkle that she had finally forgiven him and that her and Lucas were just friends.

She found his galaxy sweatshirt in the crowd of people getting ready to leave school. He was putting books in his bag when Riley finally squeezed through the maze of people.

"Farkle, wait up!" She hollered from ten feet back. His eyes scanned the hallway before seeing Riley pushing her way towards him.

She smiled readjusting her bookbag.

"You ready for Topanga's?" Farkle saw Lucas pass them, not even noticing Riley.

"Don't you have to go say goodbye to Lucas or something?" He mumbled still placing books in his bag. Riley looked around her before furrowing her eyebrows at Farkle.

"Okay now I'm confused?" She said staring innocently confused at Farkle. He slammed the locker shut and turned sharply towards Riley.

"Riley, I'm one of you best friends, it's okay to tell me that you and Lucas are together!" He huffed walking away. She stood there a second trying to comprehend what he had just said. She broke out of the thought and ran after Farkle.

"Me and Lucas? Together? What?" She asks walking beside him.

"Stop with the innocent act okay!" He shouts stopping them, he composes a softer tone and continues, "I saw you and Lucas on Saturday. Okay? I heard you tell him that you loved him and then I saw the hug you shared." He started to walk again. They were only a few minutes away from Topanga's now.

She caught up to him again. She sighed and stepped in front of him. They were now standing right in front of Topanga's.

"I asked you once if thought you missed the bigger picture looking through a microscope and you said no." She pauses making sure he is listening. He nods.

"This is an instance when your microscope missed everything." She fumbles with the bottom of her cardigan. "I wanted to talk to you today because I wanted you to know that I forgive you." Her eyes flicks towards him. She can see his eyes are still locked on her hands fumbling. He remains silent before looking up.

"Riley, I don't deserve forgiveness." The look in his eyes breaks her heart. His defeated tone sends a shrill up her spine.

"Yes... Yes you do, okay? You deserve peace and sunny days." She stumbles with her words. She grabs Farkle's bicep making sure he can't run away.

"What you saw Saturday was all out of context. I was explaining to Lucas how my feelings have changed. That I loved Lucas as a friend and nothing more. Friends are allowed to hug, remember?" His mind thinks back to all the times him and Riley had hugged. Again setting her happiness before hers and letting her go to her date with Charlie.

"Oh!" Her eyes are searching his face for any indication that he truly understood. For the first time, she realizes the height difference between them. It seemed like yesterday she was towering over Farkle.

"I also asked you here because I still have questions unanswered." She voice shook, but her composure remained calm. Her thumb was drawing circles on his arm keeping her mind together.

•••

The small touch of Riley was driving Farkle crazy. The little spark in Riley's thumb was setting Farkle on fire. He wanted to rip her hand away and back away, but he couldn't force himself to. He needed this more than he cared to admit.

He bit his lip trying to focus his mind. She had just asked him a question that echoed through his head. The wanted to run and never look back, but he knew Riley deserved his truth after everything he'd put her through.

"Did I hurt you on Friday?" She asks.

"No, you just made me realize all the things I've done wrong lately." He pulls the corner of his mouth in. He motions her to ask another one.

"What happened between you and Smackle? I thought everything was going great." He let out a cold chuckle.

"I thought so too. She told me that New Years was a mistake and that again like forces repel. I want to be upset about it, I wanted our breakup to hurt or to bother me, but honestly Riley, I haven't felt a thing, am I bad person?" His voice cracks with the last sentence. Farkle wanted to be strong in front of Riley, but has she always had a way of taking down his tough façades. She was the person he could be most real with.

"No Farkle, you're not a bad person. You're one of the greatest people I know! And so what you don't feel anything, maybe it's for the best?" It made sense to him. Because of that he felt better, this cloud over his head was finally letting up.

"Anymore questions?" He had hoped the answer was no, but he wasn't let off that easy.

"Just a few more," she stared at the ground. Farkle knew she was trying to word it just right.

"You said that if Lucas really liked me, he wouldn't have fallen for Maya yet you always say you love Maya and I equally. Doesn't that mean whoever you liked second is the one you really care for?"

He takes too long to answer, Riley sees the answer as clear as day.

"It was Maya wasn't it!" Her lips crease into a straight line. "I think I'm done asking questions," she says turning.

"Riley, wait," Farkle grabs her bringing her back, "this is unfair, that was the first grade, after that I promised I'd love you and Maya equally."

"But the point is that you loved me first and then fell for Maya anyways. I've become someone who is always overlooked." She chewed on the inside of her cheek trying to pace her breathing.

"You honestly think I'd choose Maya over you? Yes I used to believe that I'd be happy with either of you, but I now only want you." He spit it out so quickly, I couldn't focus on one individual thing. "And you're wrong, in the first grade my dad warned me about you, telling me I couldn't be friends with Riley Matthews. I'm sure it's because Topanga chose your dad instead of mine so I listened to him. I let my first grade heart believe that I couldn't like you so I fell for Maya. The girl who was mysterious and outgoing. The girl where I'd build a tower of blocks and she'd always volunteer to be the monster that destroyed the city, but it wasn't til a beautiful brunette decided to help me rebuild my city that I fell again. I fell for Maya first, but regardless of what my dad had wished, I fell for you anyways."

Riley was speechless. He had said so much in so little time. She swallowed down the lumb in her throat that was keeping her from speaking.

"You said you only wanted me now?" She shook with anticipation of what was to come. His cheeks turned a deep red as if someone had dappered them with paint. The reality of what he had said finally hit him. He licked his lips searching her eyes desperately for a way out of all this.

"I..." He took another deep breath, shaking his head the slightest bit. He watched Riley's eyes sparkle as the traveled from his eyes to his lips. 'This is it,' he thought to himself, 'it's now or never.'

He moves his hands to her cheeks, one hand pushing the hair out of her face. Her cheeks were tinted with a light pink. He could tell she was no longer breathing. Her eyes found his quickly.

"It's okay." She whispered. He blinked, knowing things would never be the same after this and for once he was okay with that.

He pressed his lips against hers. He could feel her hands tugging at his sweatshirt, bringing him closer. The hands on his chest made their way around his neck as his found the small of her back. He pulled away for a second to get a view of Riley. Her eyes were still closed and she wobbly on her tippy toes. A small smile spread across her face.

"You didn't miss this time." She snickered before kissing him one last time. They parted looking into each other's eyes. Her hands rested on Farkle's shoulders when he leaned down so their foreheads were touching.

"Are you sure you forgive me Riley?" He asks dragging one of his hands through her hair.

"I have never been more positive." She was shaking from what had happened. It was her first real heartfelt kiss. Nothing like the one she gave Lucas. She missed the way Farkle's lips felt on hers. The way his hands felt on her. The way he applied more force than she did.

"Do you want me to buy you ice cream?" Farkle asked, coping what Riley had asked him in Texas. He smiled at Riley. All his life he had wished for a moment like this and now he had it. He slid his hand into hers waiting for her answer.

"There's nothing I want more."


	5. Chapter 5

Monday, February 8th

"Riley when are you going to tell her?" Farkle asks, brushing the hair out of her face. Riley simply shrugs and covers his hand with hers.

"I don't know, soon, I promise..."

"Riley, it's been month. She's your best friend, plus I want to be able to do this whenever I want." Farkle pulls her close and kisses the corner of her mouth. The effect Farkle leaves on Riley still hasn't vanished. Her face gleams bright red and butterflies still fill her stomach.

Riley wanted to tell Maya, she really did, but there was a certain joy she felt keeping Farkle and her a secret. She wanted to savor the memory of Farkle and her first kiss to herself. And lastly, Maya has never been in a relationship and/or had her first kiss. She didn't want to rub this all into her best friends face. She chewed around on the topic of telling Maya she just never knew when the right time would be.

•••

Farkle and Riley were sitting on the floor, their backs up against the bay window. They had been studying for an hour after Riley told Farkle to drop the subject of their secret. It had always been the little things she noticed about Farkle. The way he wrote quickly when he found the answer or the little slip of his tongue when he was trying to figure out a problem. She always knew his eyes were on her, and this was an instance when she could feel them.

"Farkle..." She whispers still focusing on her work.

"Hmmm..." 

"You're doing it again." It was look she only got from him when they were alone. His eyes would scan her face starting with her eyes and then moving to her lips to her jaw to her nose to her neck and finally back to her lips. It always made her body feel hot. She wanted to ignore the feeling and finish her work, she wanted to be able to shut off this effext he had on her, but everything always seemed to fail.

"Doing what?" He smirks pushing his books off his lap. He turned his entire body towards her.

•••

Maya had gotten home after school thinking about what Lucas had said to her right before she left.

 _"Have you noticed anything different between Riley and Farkle?"_

 _"What? No, is something wrong?" I had been holding a water bottle taking sips as we left._

 _"No, of course not, but I've been thinking, I don't know, maybe somethings going on between them." And that's when I soaked Lucas with water._

 _"What?! How could you ever think that?" I remember him chuckling, wiping the water from his arms._

 _"Do you not see the looks they share or how whenever I ask Farkle to hang, it's the same time Riley says she can't either?"_

 _"Woah there Ranger Rick, I'm Riley's best friend, she would most definitely tell me if something was going on between them."_

She walks into the kitchen and she sees her mom. They have their usual conversation and Maya sits down at the table. She hasnt seen her since yesterday afternoon since she's been taking mostly nightshifts.

"How was work?"

"It was good as usual, your cute little friends Riley and Farkle keep coming in. I'm betting on them for cutest couple award for the yearbook." Her mother says with a wink. The smile she's holding dies with the silence. It's then when she realizes that Maya had no clue about her friends.

"Oh Maya, sweetie, I thought you had known, they've been coming in for the past month." Maya just stares at the kitchen table.

"I think I'm... Im gonna get some fresh air." And boy was Maya on a mission. She threw on some tennis shoes and moved her away across NYC straight to Riley's house.

•••

"Oh you mean this?" He then grabs her, tickling Riley until her back is flat on the floor. He loved the way her whole body flushed. He had been so distracted by her beauty, she was able to lean herself up and grab the collar of Farkle's shirt. She pulled him close and teasingly brushed her lips across Farkle. The small touch drove them both absolutely bonkers. Farkle had his grip on her waist and was about to seal the deal when an angry blonde face appeared at the bay window.

Farkle didn't have to look at Riley to know that her eyes had grown four sizes or touch Riley to know she was shaking. The window slid open.

Maya didn't say a single word when she crawled in. She took her spot at the bay window and sulked. She finally made eye contact with Riley and held up her hand which still had the ring that kept their friendship.

Farkle was the first to stand, who helped Riley up. Riley whispered into Farkle's ear and nodded. He placed a small kiss on Riley's cheek and looked at Maya. He left the room in utter silence, looking back once before disappearing.

The silence was defening. Riley took her place and sighed.

I•••

When Farkle exited the Matthews house, a normally friendly face was waiting for him outside. It was the same glare Farkle had received after New Years.

"I thought your whole thing to Riley was that friends don't lie to each other," Lucas says with a frown.

Farkle just raises his eyebrow. "You've know this entire time, I knew at least you would figure out it first." Lucas gives a small self-appreciative smile to himself.

"Yeah, only if I was as good as picking up on your and Riley's relationship as I am on figuring out Maya's feelings."

"You seriously think she doesn't like you?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. I see how you and Riley are and I just don't see that in Maya and I. Am I doing something wrong?"

"Maya's always been mysterious to me, which means her feelings aren't always shown even when she has them. I think she's just scared of rejection." Farkle says trying to help his friend.

"Why would I ever reject her?"

"I think because Riley hadn't told Maya about us, she might have still felt as if Riley still had some type of marker on you. At least that's what I'm assuming."

"Farkle, you know you're pretty smart sometimes!" Lucas grins patting his friend on the back.

•••

If only the girl talk went as smoothly as the boys.

Riley wasn't sure what to say or how to start. She knew for sure Maya wasn't gonna start so the two of them sat in silence.

"I wanted to tell you..." Riley says refusing to look at Maya. Minutes pass and Maya still hasn't moved one bit. 'Breathe' Riley thought to herself.

"Please don't be mad..." And that's when Maya finally looks up. Riley notices how Maya keeps sliding her friendship ring on and off of her finger.

"Riley, I am not mad," Anger wasn't what Riley saw in Maya's eyes, Riley say something broken, something cold, "I just can't seem to understand why you wouldn't tell me."

"Maya, you watched my first kiss twice and saw my first date and have my first boyfriend. I just... I didn't want to feel like I was rubbing in having another boyfriend before you get your first..." She tries so hard not to look Maya. She finally ends up squeezing her eyes shut. The only thing she feels is a soft hand on hers.

"Riley, I am your best friend, you don't have to feel like you can't tell me things. Just because I haven't had any of my firsts doesn't mean I can't be beside you for your seconds?" The statement finally made sense to Maya.

"I'm so sorry Maya."

"It's okay, I'm gonna be okay."

There's another long moment of silence between the two best friends.

"Does he make you happy?" Maya finally asks. She nods with a small smile.

"I haven't been happier in a long time. I think maybe my world isn't breaking anymore that's maybe for once I've got everything under control!" Maya smiles squeezing her hand.

"Then I couldn't be happier either!"

•••

It was around 8:00 o'clock that night when Maya texted Lucas. She had told Riley she was happy for her and Farkle, and honestly she truly was. But sadly the reasonings Riley gave her struck right at home. Maya didn't want to be jealous or mad at her friend. Riley had been keeping secrets about everything lately: Lucas, depression, and now Farkle. Maya just couldn't suppress her jealously either. She wanted someone to make her feel special and happy. She wanted a special someone to make her feel warm inside, but every guy never seemed to notice her. She really was living in Riley's world.

Lucas had arrived a few minutes later, doing the triple knock indicating it was him. She let him in, noticing his dark grey long sleeve and nicely tailored jeans.

"Is everything okay Maya?"

"I want to be happy to give you $5 for losing our bet about our friends, but I don't know, I feel... Well I feel upset."

"You don't like the idea of Farkle and Riley together?"

"No, I love the idea of them together, I just... Riley has just been keeping secrets and it's hurting a lot more than I thought it would right now." Maya stares at the palm of her hands. They are calloused from all the times she's grabs iron railing running along the grates of NYC.

"Did you tell Riley that?"

"No." Lucas finally sits down next to Maya on her bed angling towards her. "I just want Riley to be happy for once, I don't want her worrying about me."

"But you want me to worry about you?" Lucas asks trying to edge the implication he's pushing to make.

"No..." She says silently trying to bite back that lie.

"Farkle told me today that your put up walls to hide your feelings, is this why you're telling me." She chews on the inside of her lip, an anxiety habit she can't seem to understand. She nods still looking back and forth between her hands.

"I just want one person to know that I am hurting too."


	6. Chapter 6

**Sunday February 14th**

It had been weird at school the entire last week. Finally being able to show his affection towards his beautiful girlfriend. They had been dating only a little over a month, but to him it felt like his entire life.

Valentine's Day had to be perfect. His Miss Little Sunshine and Rainbows couldn't have anything less than perfect. He had gotten her flowers and chocolate and basically everything that was cliche, but the real winner was the Pluto necklace he had purchased. He was excited and absolutely terrified for the night. In 8th you finally understand love, but even Farkle knew that it's impossible to feel it this young. He did though know that this could be that one day.

He had told Riley to wear something warm. They were just gonna go for a walk, stop at a cafe, and finish the night on the rooftop to star gaze. Farkle knew he and Riley didn't want anything sappy or overly romantic. They wanted a night to feel like them, casual, but still sweet.

Farkle had gotten to the Matthews door just a little before 7. He knocked once holding the flowers and chocolate behind his back. He was nervous, but you couldn't blame him. It was his first real Valentine's Day with an actual girlfriend.

The door cracked and his giddy smile dropped when he saw Mr. Matthews face.

"What? Not happy to see your favorite teacher in Valentine's Day?" Mr. Matthews smiled letting Farkle in.

"No sir, I just thought, I thought you were Riley." He said sheepishly. Mr. Matthews nodded. It's then Farkle noticed that he was dressed in a nice suit and was wearing a pretty strong cologne.

"Because I'm Riley's dad, you know I have to give you the intimidating dad speech, but I know you'll take good care of her or I'll fail you." He said it with all seriousness, a shiver went down Farkle's back. Mr. Matthews started to laugh.

"I'm only joking about failing you, but I am serious about taking care of Riley." He nods and before he could reply, Topanga and Riley both enter the living room. Both the boys turn meeting their dates.

Cory throws his arms in the air shouting yes as he approaches his wife. Riley covers her face with her hand absolutely embarrassed with her parents.

Farkle takes that time when she wasn't looking to really look at Riley. He feels the sudden rush of goosebumps popping on his skin. She's wearing a black dress that stops just above the knee, matching tights, and a dark grey trench coat. Her long, dark hair is straight and he can tell she spent a little longer time on her makeup this evening.

"You look..." He scans her one last time, "amazing." He reaches her face, a few shades darker since his last glance.

"You don't look too bad yourself." She smiles. He hands her the flower bundle of camellias and the heart-shaped box of chocolates.

"Farkle you shouldn't have!" She smells the flowers. "Thank you."

Her parents come right behind her, putting their hands on her shoulder.

"We will be back at 9:30, we expect you guys no later than 9:00. Rule #1: be home on time, rule #2 you may only hang out here in the living room until we get home, and rule #3 have fun!" Topanga means well while saying it, but Farkle faces matches Riley's. Their cheeks glow a deep red from the second rule. They both know her mother didn't really imply anything, but it's obvious the thought filled their minds.

"Well see ya!" Riley salutes while grabbing Farkle's hand and dragging him out of the apartment.

•••

Riley had rushed them both out of the apartment building so quickly, she was sure Farkle was trying to tell if she was even breathing.

"Well that was awkward." He says stating the obvious.

"The feeling is mutual!" She laughs swinging their hands. She stopped watching the pavement and started watching Farkle. His hand gripped hers tightly and his expression was soft.

"Now you're the one staring." He smirks still looking forward.

"I'm gazing." She giggles, mimicking one of her favorite characters. His eyebrow raised before looking to Riley.

"It's creepy." He chuckles squeezing her hands.

"It's romantic." She know she smiling ear to ear while counting the colors in his eyes.

"I knew you loved The Vampire Diaries." She says giving him her crooked smile.

"No, you just force me to watch it every time I can't pick a movie."

"I never told you you had to pay attention!" She says slipping out of his hands. She skips a few steps ahead of him, turning to walk backwards. He just shakes his head before catching up to her.

She keeps moving out of his grasp, enjoying their little game.

"I know you can be quicker than that!" She shouts watching him as he stops for a break.

"I'm no athlete Riley!" He shouts back.

They finally reach a cute little cafe that reminds them both of Topanga's. They both order hot chocolates and Farkle was about to pay when Riley lays her hand on his arm.

"I've got it."

"You sure?"

"Of course."

They spend a little over an hour in the small cafe just sitting and talking.

"What do you think are friends are doing right now?" Riley asks. Farkle and Riley are sitting across from each other. Her elbows on the table.

"I'm not sure, I hope they are all having a good night!" He shrugs taking a sip of his drink. Riley tries to keep a giggle from escaping her lips. She ends up covering her mouth so he can't see her laugh.

"What?" Farkle asks smiling at his girlfriend. He had a whip cream mustache that gave him a geeky look. She whips out her phone and snaps a picture before he realizes. He reaches across and grabs her phone.

"Hey!" She screeches. She watches as he drags the back of his hand across his mouth.

"Farkle, give me my phone back!" She pleads, still trying to grab it. She had nothing to hide or at least nothing that was bad. She would never hear the end of it if he saw what she'd been hiding.

"Farkle, please." She sees the shift in his eyes. 'He's seen it, I'm doomed!' She thought to herself. She can feel her face begin to heat up and as much as she wants to look away she doesn't. She's expecting some type of confused or creeped out face from Farkle, but it glows with love and excitement.

"When did you take that picture of me?" He asks scanning every angle of her face.

'There's the look again, the one he only gives me when we are alone' she notices. But this time they aren't alone. They are surrounded by other young couples. She gulps before trying to speak. She looks down at the table, hoping to keep her embarrassment to a minimum.

"Remember that day when they said they found life on Mars? You spent the entire lunch smiling and laughing about it. Of course Maya was really on her phone wanting nothing to do with it, but I couldn't help not capturing you in such a lively mood. You were just too darn cute." Her voice shakes at the beginning, but the memory fills her with nothing but joy by the end of it.

"But that was way before we started dating." He points out.

"I know!" Her flushes again as her eyes travel once again to the table and back up for Farkle.

•••

"You. Me. Rooftop! Let's do this thing!" Farkle said quickly after that.

It wasn't long before they had made it up the stairs to the rooftop. Farkle knew all the memories of this rooftop were starting to surface. He wanted this place to mean something, to have a good connotation to it.

Riley stopped dead in tracks when they made it to the rooftop. Sitting in the middle of the top was a telescope.

"Farkle?" She turned towards her boyfriend searching her eyes.

"Riley, you know I've never been a religious person but when your dad showed me the prism, I learned something I wouldn't have ever known otherwise. It's possible to believe in something you've never seen, right?" She nods feeling a sense of excitement spark through her body. "It got me thinking about something my mom once said. 'Fall in love with someone who loves the skies because they love something so far away regardless of the distance, they love something that odds are they will never meet, they love something that they possibly have never seen.'" He stared at Riley before bringing his hand to her cheek.

"Have you ever truly seen Pluto?" He heard her take in a breath before she started to jump up and down.

"Farkle Minkus, you've got to be kidding." He smiles before giving her a kiss on the cheek and dragging her to the telescope.

"I had to go out and buy a 12in telescope because it was near impossible to do so with my 5in." He says focusing in the lenses. "Here take a look!"

She spent a handful of minutes just looking. She finally leans back and wipes under her eyes with the back of her hand.

"You really do know how to give a girl a perfect night!" She says laying her hands on his shoulders.

"I have one more surprise!" He says trying to resist the urge to kiss her and never stop. Her eyes shines with happiness as he pulls out a small little box from his pocket.

He watches as her face lights up when she sees the inside. She tumbles into him, catching him in a bear hug.

"Farkle, it's beautiful!" She says finally finding her composure and leaning back. "Will you put it on me?"

"Of course!" He pushes her hair out of the way leaving a trail of goosebumps. He clasps it on and leans forward pecking the side of her neck. She spins around hitting her nose on his chin. His eyes are locked on hers. He can feel the heat radiating off of the both of them. Not once had he ever felt this such intense feeling. He was burning setting her on fire too. From the way her body moved when she breathed or how she blinked slowly taking him in, he could feel every little motion.

He leaned down, grabbing the side of her neck. He notices again how she always takes a second to kiss back, but the second she starts the motion never ends.

This kiss was nothing like the handful of times before. It hot and messy, something neither Farkle nor Riley had experimented with before. Her hands trailed his slim body sending his nerves crazy. His hands got tangled in her hair and he slightly pulled when her cold hands touched his skin right above the hip bones.

He pulled back, taking in the universes most perfect sight. His girlfriend was breathtaking in every single way. There was not one single feature he could focus on. Riley's lips were swollen and her cheeks were red. He couldn't help but run his fingers through her hair trying to tame the beast he had created. Her hands stayed were they had touched drawing her usual circles into his skin.

And regardless of being 8th graders, it's in that moment he realized what it felt like to be in love.


End file.
